Have you ever felt really fired up about making changes to the way that you eat? You feel hopeful, motivated, maybe even excited about improving your health, losing weight, or changing your body composition.
And then… it doesn’t last.
At some point, the part of you that feels chaotic and out of control re-emerges. Despite how desperate you are to change, a self-sabotaging part of you just keeps showing up.
I call this part the inner rebel. And if you recognise it, you’re not alone. Many of us know exactly what it feels like to have one side of us determined to “do better” and another side that wants to burn everything to the ground.
Why Your Rebel Shows Up
t can feel like you have a split personality: one part organised and disciplined, the other messy and self-destructive. When the rebel takes over, shame and frustration quickly follow.
But here’s the thing—your rebel isn’t the villain.
Think of Severus Snape from Harry Potter. At first, he seems cruel and determined to make Harry’s life miserable. But later we learn there’s more to his story: reasons, pain, and even a higher purpose. He is not a perfect character, but his behaviour makes sense when we understand the context.
Your rebel works the same way. Its behaviour usually comes from:
- Old emotional pain – past experiences, unmet needs, or shame.
- Biological fears – the body anticipating deprivation from past cycles of restriction.
- Psychological threats – feeling your autonomy or freedom is being taken away.
- Emotional overwhelm – using food to check out because being present with yourself feels unbearable.
In other words, the rebel is a protective part of you. It resists when something feels unsafe or misaligned.
From Blame to Curiosity
When the rebel is active, it’s easy to spiral into self-blame: I’m weak. I lack discipline. I hate myself.
But that mindset fuels more shame and more rebellion.
What actually helps is shifting from blame to curiosity. Instead of thinking, I must want to destroy myself, you can begin to ask:
- What is this part trying to protect me from?
- Where is the resistance coming from?
- What unmet need might this behaviour be pointing to?
Curiosity is regulating. It calms your nervous system and creates space for more harmonious choices—ones where your different parts can line up enough to move together in the same direction.
Finding Harmony With Food
Rules and boundaries around food aren’t automatically bad. They can even feel freeing at first because you’re not negotiating with yourself all the time. But if those rules start to feel controlling, the rebel will push back.
True change doesn’t come from defeating the rebel but from building a relationship with it. That might mean:
- Journalling “conversations” between your parts to give them a voice.
- Noticing when resistance shows up and asking what it’s protecting.
- Allowing tension between parts without immediately trying to silence one side.
Think of it like learning to play a piano. You can’t just slam down all the keys and hope it sounds good. It takes listening, experimenting, and adjusting until the notes start to sound harmonious.
The Bigger Picture
This isn’t about excusing behaviour. It’s about creating context and compassion. Like Snape, the rebel isn’t purely destructive; it has its reasons. And when you stop battling it, you free up the energy to make calmer, more balanced decisions with food.
The goal isn’t control; it’s inner peace. Because when you feel more at peace inside, your relationship with food naturally follows.
✨ If you want to go deeper with this work, my Rebel-Friendly Intuitive Eating Course starts on 24th September. It is delivered live by me on Zoom, and replays are available if you cannot make a session. This course is especially designed for those of us with a strong inner rebel who find typical approaches to food and eating just do not stick. Together, we will explore how to work with your rebel, not against it, so you can build a more peaceful and flexible relationship with food. [Click here to find out more and join us.]
